Call me liar
Ok, things haven’t gone so well in the past days,
nothing has gone as well I have planned, and it sucks, since this past January,
everything has changed in my relationship, we were supposed to spend more time
together, do things that normal couples do in their time together, but we,
rarely talk now, if he is not busy at his office, he’s somewhere else
delivering something or he’s at any kind of meeting with his clients or at the
court attending some appointments’ with the judge. He has a busy life and I am
at the bottom at his lists, well that’s how I feel…
It was supposed that we have plans, weddings plans
but I seem none of them going any further, and the last thing I did, was with
the intention of helping him, not that I wanted to hear some bad news, yes, BAD
NEWS for me.
I am in a country that is not so strange for me
because I lived here a few years ago but that doesn’t mean that I do not need
him less all the opposite I need him more than I ever did before, our plans
were if I have moved here we were to get more time for us, and that my friends
has not happened in that way, when he comes he rarely stays more than two days,
we go out to do some things for his work o clients. That bothers a bit specially
when I have expected something else.
Few days ago I spoke to one of my leaders we have a
very long talk, he made me reconsider my relation with him, gave me some things
to think about, his spiritual side and some others things. Like the temple recommendation
that I have been waiting for a year and a half from him, this talk gave me a
very new view and many questions without answers.
The last week, with my mom went to the temple and
there I gave up any though, all questions or doubts in prayer, the answers
came. What I have to do is for my soul’s sake, that afternoon I received a call
from the stake leaders for an interview, I said yes to the calling and this is
the other part of my personal answer received at Celestial Room. I wasn’t so
sure to tell him about this and when I decided to do, his reaction just throw
me to the deepest disappointment I ever had, he said: “oh, that’s a big responsibility
and have to travel a lot”. He didn’t sound so happy o excited. He was flat, no
emotion no nothing. This was and is important to me, because is the first time
a work with other stake leaders and he was so “ok” I regret it, I shouldn’t have told him
anything. Not a single word about it. If he doesn’t care neither I should about
his success nor should I? I am thinking about it. I am mad right now and more
than mad: SAD.
I have other expectations but reality hit me in the
face with a big bat. Ok, it didn’t happen like that, but it felt like that.
What am I going to do? Just work on my answer and
my new calling, things someday and somehow will work out as well as Father in
Heaven wants to.
One thing for sure I can do now, is to testify
about His answers to our prayers. When we pray with all our hearts given Him
any burden, doubts or questions, He will answer back is his perfect time, when
we are ready to take the next step.
